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Friends First.

Momo and I met online seven years ago, at some point in 2008. (In Internet time that’s virtually 575 years ago.)

We met in real life in June of 2009, when I helped bring a van full of meat to her house. (The Momo’s Meat Wagon story is here.)

We’ve been close friends ever since.

I became her contractor at BlogHer three years ago, and for every day of those three years I have been one half of a total Dream Team.

#BlogHer13 Chicago, in the shirts I bedazzled. Don't ever let people take pictures of you at this angle. Also, look at HER hair, not mine.

#BlogHer13 Chicago, in the shirts I bedazzled. Don’t ever let people take pictures of you at this angle. Also, look at HER hair, not mine.

I don’t think every pair of friends could have a successful work relationship, but we do. We have worked together seamlessly, with excellent communication and just the right balance of fun and professionalism. It really has been a dream.

Now she’s leaving (tomorrow’s her last day), and I’m so sad. I’m beyond sad.

Wait. Let me clarify.
The opportunity that she has accepted is so wonderful for her and her kids that, had she told me that she was going to turn it down, as her close friend I would have knocked her block off. She would have been a total idiot to turn it down. Luckily, she’s very smart.

When she first told me about this opportunity nearly two weeks ago and said she was considering it, well, that’s the first day I cried. As her friend? I’m THRILLED for her. As her co-worker/teammate? I’m DEVASTATED.

I don’t like major change. That said, every time I’ve experienced major change in my life, everything turns out fine. Those transitions, though. They’re tough.

That’s why I’ve been a hot mess for nearly two weeks. I’ve cried at various levels of helplessness and desperation nearly every single day. I’ve cried by myself and I’ve cried on the phone with Momo while she wailed along with me. Because we were friends first, I know she forgives me for having this tantrum that could rival a three-year-old’s. I keep telling myself, while I cry, that I’m probably making her feel really GOOD by having a fit about this.

Not to be dramatic (Who, me?), but I have been immersed in the seven stages of grief, with an especially long stop at Depression.

And then last night happened.
Momo sent me a video via Facebook message. She said that she made it for someone else but that she thought I’d want a copy too. And then that wickedly sarcastic and morbid sense of humor she has that I truly love so much when it doesn’t affect me, came out to play.

Facebook message

While we were messaging, we were texting.

Momo text

Then, feeling especially goofy, I told her I was going to tweet her so we could be on three platforms at once.

Momo twitter

She followed up with an Instagram. Four! Four platforms! Ah-ha-ha!

Because I can multitask.

A post shared by Momo Fali (@momofali) on

I emailed her. Five.

Momo email

And then tagged her on Google+. Six.

Momo Google+

I would’ve gone on LinkedIn to make seven, but I really can’t stand LinkedIn. Besides, six was funny enough.

Last night brought to the forefront what I’ve always known but have been trying to focus on extra hard for the past two weeks. We were friends first, and we will be friends forever. We won’t be on the same team at the same company anymore, but she’s not really going anywhere. We’ve only worked in the same room for seven days each year; everything else has been on the phone. She’s not getting rid of her phone, and neither am I.

I still cried last night, but I think I just might be on the way to the seventh stage of grief, Acceptance. Our friendship is for keeps. I’m still going to talk to her all the time. I’m still going to be annoyed at her when she doesn’t say BYE! at the end of a text conversation. I’m still going to see her at the conferences, only she’ll be an attendee (probably making fun of me for having to work). I’m still going to expect that, if I call her late at night after she’s taken her Ambien, I may only have four minutes before she falls asleep on her end of the phone while I’m talking. I’m still going to visit her in Columbus now and then, and when I do, I’m STILL going to kick her a$$ at Ms. Pac Man when we go to the Barcade. And possibly Donkey Kong too, because of my patented reverse grip strategy.

Friends first, friends always.

Momo, I’m so proud of you. You earned this and BlogHer’s loss is Nationwide’s gain. I’m so happy for you and your kids that my heart is bursting for you. I will miss you at work something awful (GAH SO AWFUL OMFG MY HEART HURTS PLEASE DON’T GOOOOOO) (But I know you have to go gahhhhh), and because your wickedly sarcastic and morbid sense of humor has rubbed off on me just a little bit in the last seven years, I truly hope you are ugly crying your eyes out as you reach the end of this post, just like I am.

Days since my last tear-free day: Zero.
I love you, Momo.

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Kir September 3, 2015, 8:02 am

    My eyes got a little salt filled just reading this. You know you’ll always be there for each other. Friends First!

    Also, you’re both adorable.

    • Melisa Wells September 3, 2015, 8:59 am

      Yes, thank you. And you’re pretty adorable yourself.

  • Momo September 3, 2015, 8:05 am

    OMG. I hate you.

  • Momo September 3, 2015, 8:23 am

    Okay, now that I stopped crying I will say that this TORE ME APART. I love you so much. And, now that I have a commute you’d better get ready to talk to me every early morning and every late afternoon. Just sayin’.

    We did make the BEST team. No doubt about it. But, we are still a team and always will be. You are the best thing the Internet ever gave me and I wouldn’t give THAT up for all the money in the world.


    • Melisa Wells September 3, 2015, 8:28 am

      OMG I hate you.

      • Momo September 3, 2015, 8:31 am

        Paybacks, baby.

        • Melisa Wells September 3, 2015, 8:34 am

          You’re evil. But I still love you.

    • Melisa Wells September 3, 2015, 8:32 am

      Also, don’t tease me with promises of daily phone calls.

      (but I’m ready.)


  • Christina September 3, 2015, 8:32 am

    I love all of this. I love you for writing it, and I love Momo for being the kind of friend who you’d write this for.

    “I have been one half of a total Dream Team.” – truer words have never been spoken. Or, uh, typed.

    • Melisa Wells September 3, 2015, 8:59 am

      Thank you.
      Also I’m glad I was already crying when I read this. 🙂

  • Alexandra @ My Urban Family September 3, 2015, 8:42 am

    This is super touching. Good luck to both of you on your new/different adventures!

    • Melisa Wells September 3, 2015, 8:58 am

      Thank you! Once we stop needing tissues, I think we’ll both rock it. 🙂

  • Cheryl at Busy Since Birth September 3, 2015, 10:22 am

    I feel lucky just to witness this relationship from the sidelines. You’re both very lucky to have each other.

    • Melisa Wells September 4, 2015, 6:57 am

      Agreed. Thanks, Cheryl. xo

  • Leigh Ann September 3, 2015, 10:23 am

    Relationships like this are so damn special. I wish Momo the best in her new job, and I wish you the best in helping someone else forge new territory as a part of the social media team.

    • Melisa Wells September 4, 2015, 6:56 am

      Thank you. <3

  • Vivian September 3, 2015, 10:53 am

    Ohhh, I hate you both, and I hope you’re satisfied now that you’ve got ME crying, too, and running out of tissues when it’s such a beautiful day and I should be laughing and enjoying life!! You’d just both better keep on writing about your lives and bringing me joy because I. Will. Be. Following. You. Love you both and hope you get through this transition soon and see how good it’s going to be!

    • Momo September 3, 2015, 1:39 pm

      Thank you, Aunt Vivian!

  • lori anderson September 3, 2015, 11:50 am

    You are both awesome and an inspiration – and so lucky to have this kind of connection. Diane, I wish you all the best! Melisa, thanks for putting this out there! Your honesty and authenticity is so refreshing.

    • Momo September 3, 2015, 8:12 pm

      Thank you, Lori! I’ll see you soon!

  • Liz September 3, 2015, 7:24 pm

    You both suck wet poodle. Jerks.

    • Melisa Wells September 3, 2015, 7:30 pm

      You love us though.

  • TheNextMartha September 3, 2015, 8:39 pm

    So much love. Friends first. It’s perfect and true.

    • Melisa Wells September 4, 2015, 6:56 am


  • Erica C September 3, 2015, 10:42 pm

    So does that mean I can apply for her position and become your new best co-worker buddy?

    • Melisa Wells September 4, 2015, 6:55 am