I am struggling.
Okay, that sounds/reads a little on the melodramatic side.
(I can’t help it. My mom didn’t call me Sarah Bernhardt for nothing.)
There are big problems in the world…and this post is not about one of those.
It’s about a big problem in MY world, and something that has been, as of late, causing quite a bit of consternation–and no, I did not misspell (or mean) constipation.
I don’t know how to be funny.
Yes, that’s it. (I warned you.)
Here’s the thing: people tell me all the time how hilarious I am (apparently). But I’m not. Honestly. I usually think my ability to be humorous is just a wee bit on the tragic end of the spectrum. Admittedly, though, sometimes I will say or write something that makes me think “God, I’m funny.”
Okay, confession: saying “I’m funny” is something I do all the time, even if I am decidedly unfunny: it’s as if declaring how funny I think I am turns any inane comment I make into something that could be classified as Comic Genius.
It doesn’t take a Regular Genius to realize that everyone who THINKS they are funny isn’t necessarily funny. That in mind, if people are telling me that I’m funny, doesn’t that make me a little bit funny?
I have the desire to be funny. To me, the sound of laughter makes me very happy. To be able to generate that? Whoa.
What I hate is that I can’t sit down to write something funny on purpose. My level of funny when it comes to writing is as inconsistent and unpredictable as…well, it’s inconsistent and unpredictable. I find that when I want to be funny, I’m not. When I don’t intend to be, I’ve got people rolling in the aisles.
And speaking my Funny? I am that person who comes up with a witty–and often funny as hell–response later. Not ten minutes later like most people; I’m talking hours later, often at 2:00 a.m. Bright side: that I’m coming up with witty, funny responses at all, I guess.
It’s frustrating for a Control Freak.
I have spent hours analyzing this. (Perhaps we’re getting to the crux of the problem.)
I HAVE the ability to be funny. The issue is one or more of the following:
2. Trying too hard
3. Not trying hard enough
4. I need practice.
5. I need to relax.
Maybe I just need to think about it some more. And make some lists. Yeah, that’s it. I’ll keep you posted.