I’m really thinking, with it being November 18th and all, that I should change the perpetual calendar that hangs in my kitchen so it reflects the current month. I’d hate for December to arrive without my getting to enjoy a few days of a November calendar.
Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
Into the future…
(Steve Miller‘s words, not mine.)
This year is flying by. I knew it would; having a high school senior in the house and having the added life elements of his college applications, scholarship applications, work schedule, girlfriend, school work, yada yada yada…it’s enough to make a Mom (or Dad) go mad.
That’s the crux of the last few days, as a matter of fact. I’ve been quite moody. I’ve been a little snappish to my family. I’ve felt overwhelmed with life in general. I couldn’t place why, and then suddenly I had my first uncontrollable crying jag on Monday night and realized: my kid is leaving home…next fall.
I know, I know, it’s sort of like a “When Harry Met Sally” thing (“I’m gonna be forty…someday!”), but not completely.
I never thought I’d be the crying mom. I am, admittedly, not one of the moms whose entire existence revolves around her kids. Though I am fiercely connected to my kids, I also have things going on that aren’t related to them directly. I mean, I knew I wasn’t going to be all, “SEE YA!” or anything like that, but I NEVER thought I’d cry in November of the year before he is due to leave. Big, ugly tears. And once I started, it was a good while before I could stop.
The logical part of my brain tells me the following things:
1. If he ends up at his first choice school, he’s only 90 minutes away.
2. I will always be his mother.
3. I’m totally normal.
4. This is a natural part of the mini-grieving process that Jim & I have to go through: next fall will mark the end of one era of parenting him, and the start of another.
5. This is a great step for him, as well as for us.
6. We’ve raised a GREAT kid. He’ll call now and then.
The emotional part of my brain tells me the following things:
1. I miss him already.