If you’re a regular reader (thanks!), you already know that Weaselmomma and I live ten minutes apart (only three highway exits!). We “met” through blogging just a couple of months ago and subsequently have *really* met in person once, when she recently came to see me in the salon.
Weaselmomma has been getting tired of me whining about my angry grocery store experiences: mainly the day when my meat got touched, but also my shopping trip last week, when some random jerk thought it was totally acceptable to make a comment about how full my cart was. Weaselmomma suggested that, rather than going ahead with my own idea on solving my grocery store rage issues, I should just go shopping at her store. The way she talked about her grocery store, you would think it was all rainbows and butterflies, and maybe singing children skipping through the aisles.
But I like those things. So I told her that we’d plan a day.
Friday was that day. But we had to make a special stop before we could hit the grocery store.
The Claire’s Outlet.
The Outlet Mall is just about halfway between my house and Weaselmomma, so we met there to shop for tiaras, of course. With her birthday being the following day, she was in need of a new one. I know, I know, you might remember from the salon post that I mentioned that she has a drawer full of tiaras already. If you have to ask why she needs another one, you may not really understand the tiara-wearing philosophy. (ha ha) We spent a few minutes trying tiaras on like total dorks, and we took cell phone photos, only one of which turned out well. Of course it’s not a photo of me. Here’s Her Highness, doing the Royal Wave. Note that I made her pose for the photo *with* the backing card still firmly attached to the tiara. (I actually had my actual camera in my purse, but felt weird about using it inside Claire’s since the store was 1) small and 2) full of employees and no other customers, so I didn’t use the real camera until later.)
I found a great butterfly tiara that I dubbed “The Mariah Carey Tiara”, but alas, I couldn’t justify the expense. Although we were at an outlet, the tiaras were NOT on sale. Ugh.
And then, just when Weaselmomma and I were turning away from the display, I saw it. On the clearance rack. A tiara: marked down to $7.50. And guess what? Not only did it take Weaselmomma’s breath away when I put it on, but all redlines were an additional half off! I am happy to announce that Melissa’s (Hope Floats) recent tweet was right on the money. Click this.
On our way out to the parking lot, she was telling me that Mr. Weasel was going to meet us at the grocery store with his video camera.
I’m just going to let you absorb how creepy that could potentially sound for a moment.
Ready for me to continue? Okay.
She had big plans for a video post of us shopping together (for a post, of course). We got in separate cars to go to the grocery store, and as I was driving I called Melissa, mainly to check on her after her medical ordeal of the morning, but also to tell her that Mr. Weasel was intending to bring his video camera, and if nobody ever heard from me again after the grocery trip, she should point the authorities in the Weasels’ direction. Melissa was laughing her head off. I’m still not sure if I was *that* entertaining or if it was the drugs, not yet worn off.
As luck would have it, Unfortunately, Mr. Weasel called when we arrived at the store and said that someone left the camera on and it only had six minutes of charge, so he would wait a while before coming over, to give it more time to charge up. And then, after a while, we heard from him again: he couldn’t find the car keys. So there would be no video and Weaselmomma would have to come up with another creative way to blog about our visit.
Weaselmomma and I first hit the liquor department at Woodman’s Grocery Store. First of all, I was already impressed with Woodman’s, just in the liquor department alone. It was huge, well-organized, and clean. As we walked along with the cart, we discovered that there seems to be a major gap in our liquor preferences when you put them side-by-side. I’m not a huge drinker and I have just a few choice beverages that I really, really enjoy and therefore stick with. You know, simple pleasures.
Weaselmomma on the other hand, well, let’s just say that she has more drinking experience than me. And I mean that in the best way possible. She knew about all of it and was giving me a tour as if it were her house. And I mean *that* in the best way possible. It was quite hilarious. I wish you all could have been there, like my very own Verizon Network, watching the two of us walk around that liquor department, wearing our tiaras, while Weaselmomma pointed out various wines, beers, etc. that she would recommend.
I became giddy when I saw these:
Her comment was priceless: “You mean you people have your own???” Now THAT was funny. I knew this brand was out there somewhere because Julesie bought Jim a branded baseball cap last year, I think, but we had never purchased any. Into the cart it went!
After perusing the wine aisles for her upcoming video post on wines for the holidays, we started looking at the bottles–really looking at them–for their interesting labels. We’re apparently liquor geeks.
After standing in line with a bunch of other people, including women who wondered where the tiaras were being handed out, we paid for our cart contents (a list of which I will not post) and headed to the grocery section of the store.
Naturally the hilarity continued in the grocery store. People kept staring at Weaselmomma too: it was crazy. They couldn’t take her eyes off of her. They were probably jealous of her headwear.
I will tell you something helpful: if, once you became an adult, you’ve never actually been brave enough to wear a tiara out in public (and bachelorette parties do not count) you should know that after the first, oh, say fifteen minutes, you adjust to the feeling of it and eventually forget it’s even on your head. People were being extra-special nice to us and I remembered minutes later (after the niceties left me wondering why everyone was gushy-sweet) that we were wearing tiaras.
I have to say, Weaselmomma was right about her grocery store. I love it. I asked her how much she spends on groceries per month, and it turns out that, by shopping at that store, she spends the same amount for a family of seven as I do at my cranky-a$$ed store on a family of four. It doesn’t take a genius to do the math: I’m doing my big shopping trips over there! Of course, it’s not as close as my own stores if I just need milk or bread or something, but for the full-cart trips, I’m so there. And, I might add, there were no snarky comments by any patrons, there was no meat-touching, and there was no self-checkout. In fact, I chose to have them bring my groceries out to the curb and load them for me at no extra cost, and it made for a thrilling end to the trip!
I commented to Weaselmomma as we walked side-by-side through the store, totally blocking the aisles for anyone who wanted to get by, “Oh my gosh, you have totally changed my life today.”
Do you know what she said? Of course it cracked me up:
“Yes, I’ve done that for lots of people.”
All in all, a fabulous visit with Weaselmomma. The only potential problem I can see in our relationship so far (other than that video camera-totin’ Mr. Weasel: LOL) is that both of us are talkers. Neither one of us shut up. Ever. The whole time. On future outings, I’m going to bring a Talking Stone or some similar object, so we don’t have to constantly interrupt the other with all of the important things we each have to say. Maybe a Talking Tiara?
For Weaselmomma’s take on our day, visit World of Weasels!
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you guys are cute. LOL
we have grocery stores where the people are super nice- whole foods. LOL that’s about it!
maybe I should move up to chicago!
Goodness, then if all three of us manage to get together at some point, we’re going to have to pick numbers and take turns talking.
Joe used to shop at Meijer and now shops at Woodman’s…he loves it! It just overwhelms the heck out of me. Really 150 kinds of cheese…who knew?
I was wondering where the video camera was. And it wasn’t just the drugs because I was still laughing about our phone conversation while I was reading this! 🙂
You are cracking me up. Your post is so much funnier than mine.
You’re such a dork and I say that in a loving way!
Brings me back to our trips to the commissary…..aaahhh memories!
Anyway, sounds like you have a fun new grocery buddy! Only YOU can make grocery shopping fun!
Andie: Come on up! 🙂
Melissa: That’s for sure. Neither one of us could get a word in edgewise even though we were both talking the whole time. Figure THAT one out!
Weaselmomma: No, yours is funnier!
Dawn: I know: I AM a dork! I actually told Weaselmomma about our shopping trips while we were there. Those were good times, too! 🙂
Laughing here! Laughing, laughing, laughing! That was so very funny!!!!
“Talking stone” HA! Okay, so our version of your favorite grocery store here in the northeast (barely VA) is Wegmans!
Did you both serisously shop with your tiaras on??? I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS! (OH, btw, I am trying out more leg-ware today… not leg warmers, but over the knees socks worn with my boots so you just see the stripey tops of my socks… kind of like “munchkin land attire”… but I love it! are you disappointed I didn’t consult you first? I had a wave of self confidence!)
XOXO – Weather Kim in DC and on TV
Why does it not surprise me that this little adventure started in the liquor aisle? Are you sure it didn’t END in the liquor aisle as well? If it didn’t, it should have.
My parents live out in Aurora, and they told me about Woodman’s. I visited it for the first time a week ago and bought candy making supplies there. It was so overwhelming!! I did cartwheels, though, that they had a green and black tea blend that Jewel doesn’t carry anymore. It was quite the experience shopping there, and I didn’t have a tour guide or enough time to do the whole store. I have to go back now to visit the liquor department and find that beer!
Jennifer: Glad you liked it! I thought it was pretty funny too!
Weather Kim: Yes, we ABSOLUTELY shopped with the tiaras on. In fact, we wore them out of Claire’s and wore them while walking at the Outlet Mall to our cars. Wore them in the grocery store, through the checkout line…I recommend it. 🙂
Nukedad: You’re right. That would have been even *more* fun. 🙂 I have a feeling that Friday wasn’t the only day that Weaselmomma, liquor, and I will be in the same room together.
MM: Didn’t it change your life??? Go get some He’brew. Support it so they’ll keep stocking it! 🙂
I love having read her version and then your version. Perfect! And I may now head to the C’ville Woodman’s now. Their tv commercials always creeped me out. Kinda like Menards but more so?
And I LOVE that jar bottle bottle — who makes that one (I’m a geek, too, apparently – not that this should come as any surprise to you)
You don’t have any Caputo’s by you, do you? That’s my other favorite!
you two weren’t far from me at all, Woodmans is about 7 miles from my house!… unless there is more than one woodmans LOL
If I ever get to your town, I want to go tiara wearing shopping with you.
Michelle: I know! I liked both versions too! LOL GO DIRECTLY TO WOODMAN’S. NOW. You’ll love it. I have a Caputo’s near one of my health clubs but have never been.
StACEy: Hmmm. If you come back to check comments, you’re gonna have to e-mail me (click the link) and tell me where you live, if that doesn’t creep you out. I have successfully met more than seven Chi-town bloggers in person without harming any single one of them; you might be close enough to be a part of our Woodman’s Tiara-wearing Posse!!
Karen: Totally. You’re welcome to join us anytime!
Came here from W.O.W.
Sounds like you had a fun time there! I LOVE acting up in stores!!!!
I’ll bet you two had a lot of fun.
You guys are almost too much!
I think I’m going to have to make a trip down there and crash one of your tiara-wearing parties one of these days!!! (Yes, by ‘party’ I mean grocery shopping experience. There were no 1yo’s kicking their brothers in the face, no “MOOOM! I HAVE TO PEEEE!s” so, yes, it IS a party.)